if only i have the power to read everyone's minds, that would be great cuz i really like to know what the person i love is thinking about. it is really hard ya know, when you are this anxious, this insecure. okay stop right there. think you understand me? nope you're 100% wrong. you don't understand me like at all. yes, AT ALL. no one understands what it feels like to go through all these. how can i be so sure that no one understands me you ask? because i, myself, have a hard time understanding myself. you never know the feeling of hating yourself so much to the point that you feel like destroying your own reflection in the mirror.

no don't get me wrong. i am not suicidal but i just hate myself so very much that probably no one has ever hated me this much too. call me an attention seeker all you want cuz i don't give a damn. this is my blog & i write whatever the hell i want. i write because i think the whole world has turned deaf towards me. towards everyone, not just me. it is up to you to agree with me or not.

have u ever feel like you're the ugliest person in this planet? have u ever feel like nobody loves you? have u ever feel like you're the most annoying person ever on earth & everyone hates you so much for it? trust me, i have been through all of those situations & seriously it is not that i am heing ungrateful dude, i am always grateful but sometimes the insecurities just hit you in da face & makes you suffer through the most vicious phase of life & you feel like headbanging  the wall until u die, no joke. sounds funny? nahh, if we can swap places, i am more than honoured to let you live my life.

i might seem confident to some people but know this, sometimes the most confident people out there are the most insecure ones. don't believe me? try asking them why do they always seem to be confident all the time, then you'll know.

anyway, sorry for the emotional instability. it is just that i am always on the verge of giving up in loving him, the person i love the most. all the things that i do but he is not even looking towards me one bit. sigh, should i just give up? oh God, please just give me the patience to keep holding on & give me at least a sign that this is all gonna be worth it in the end. i trust in Your plans & i trust in You so please grant me strength to keep fighting on if he is really worth all of my efforts

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